Zlatan Ibrahimovic warns Cristiano Ronaldo ahead of World Cup qualifying playoff

Oh boy, Zlatan Ibrahimovic finish cristiano ronaldo for here, haba. 

Hello, Cristiano. I am Zlatan — the cloud of pain that now hovers over you.

I must admit that the World Cup playoff draw was unfortunate. I know that many people do not like you, but I never felt that way. I have always seen you as a weaker, lavender scented version of Zlatan. A flattering Zlimitator. We both score goals at will and our gifts are unappreciated in Barcelona. You have boots with stars on them, I have boots filled with feet that are more powerful than the sun. Of course, I am better looking, have better hair and I am far more skilled in deadly martial arts than you, but all of this gives you something to aspire to. You're welcome.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s bizarre new ‘Celestial’ boots

Cristiano Ronaldo doesn't lack confidence. Just to reinforce this fact, Nike decided to use the new Mercurial IX CR7 boot and 2013 CR7 Collection to compare him to "a celestial body that radiates energy."

In a frankly bizarre and astonishing stream of blurb, Nike compare Ronaldo to a "limitless" star that "burns brighter than others". They clearly had a lot of fun writing it, and it's very entertaining to read too.

When Pele suggested that Neymar was the best player in the world, Maradona responded by saying that Lionel Messi is from a different planet.

Expect Adidas to respond to this development by creating a heavenly boot design featuring angels and pearly gates for Messi.